When people enter relationships, they don’t imagine a day when they will not be with their partner.
Unfortunately, there are times when the union breaks down and they are forced to continue without them.
It can be easy to give up on everything and fall into unhealthy patterns, but it is important that you try your best not to do so.
Here are the 5 ways to move forward after a relationship has ended.
1. ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL THE PAIN
One reason that some people have a hard time moving on is the fact they have not allowed themselves the opportunity to grieve and experience all of the emotions associated with this event.
Sure, avoidance can be helpful if it seems like the breakup is all that you can focus on, but you do need to give yourself time to feel the pain.
Otherwise, it can manifest itself later when you least expect it.
2. BREAK THINGS OFF COMPLETELY
If your former partner is the one that you always run to when you need support, it can be difficult not to contact them at this time.
Even though it will be a struggle to cut them off, you need to do this for your own sanity.
Communicating with them will only remind you of the breakup and make it harder for you to separate your emotions from them.
Keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with having a friendship with a past relationship partner.
However, this should only happen after you are 100% sure that there are no residual feelings left surrounding the breakup.
3. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
The more you sit around wallowing in all of the negative emotions you feel, the harder it will be to deal with everything that is going on.
Make sure that you get up daily, eat something and take care of your hygiene.
In addition, you should tidy up your home and try to participate in your usual activities.
This may be difficult, but it will make you feel much better than sitting around doing nothing and stewing over the breakdown of your relationship.
4. AVOID BEATING YOURSELF UP
This is common, whether the person feeling bad is the one who initiated the breakup or not.
In the event that you did something that caused the split, you have to forgive yourself and make it a point to do better in future relationships.
If you did not, placing all kinds of blame on yourself will not make things any better.
The point is that the union is no longer there and it really does not matter why; it is a reality that you will have to face.
Shouldering all of the blame will only make it that much harder to move forward.
5. DON’T INVOLVE OTHERS IN YOUR NEGATIVITY
You have the right to feel the way that you do after a relationship has disintegrated, but that does not mean that everyone else has to feel the same.
Avoid talking negatively about your past partner to children, friends and anyone else that has to continue contact with them.
The goal is for you to move on and making things harder for them is not the way to do it.
The only thing this will do is increase the animosity between the two of you, and this is certainly counterproductive.
Most people experience a relationship breakdown at least once over the course of their lives.
While they all don’t handle it the same, the ones who try coping in a healthy manner tend to reach a state of peace sooner than those who do not.
If you are in this situation and you are struggling, consider all of the points above as you move forward.
Chila & Associates can assist you with relationship counselling and can also help with life management.
Our counselling can help you rebuild your relationships and develop the skills necessary to manage any type of crisis confronting you.
Please call us today on 03 9483 8837 or contact us through our website to make an appointment.